I just applied for a job with Hallmark so that I could send them my greeting cards and see what they think (you can read an example of one here if you scroll down a ways). This was my cover letter:
My name is Steve, and I am a young writer who has recently become interested in greeting cards. I believe that greeting cards say what people have trouble saying because sometimes it's really difficult to say the right thing at the right time.
What is the right thing to say? When and how do you say it? Is "the right thing to say" always the right thing to say? I struggle with these questions.
I hope that you will read over my attempts and let me know if I'm on the right track.
I'm really curious to see if I get a response. It would be a pretty great relief to see that someone who works in a managerial position for a big company like Hallmark has a sense of humor about what they do. I wonder if any of them are poets outside of the office.
I know it's pretty obvious of me to believe this, but Poet really should be a salaried position. Even mediocre poets help people think about how they feel, which is at least as productive as working for Hallmark, and writing can be at least as difficult as making presentations on PowerPoint and whatnot. Service rendered, hours devoted. But fine, I'll keep on applying at cafes. People who help bring food to people are probably the most valuable members of society.